Too quick, you prick!

“She just wants to fuck around with guys for their money,” is what I thought to myself looking at her Instagram profile. Quite judgmental of me, isn’t it? Or maybe not; after-all, she’s just a kid yet! She drinks, smokes up, dresses DOWN rather, while she hasn’t even been through high school yet! God help these millennial kids from all the social image they wish to create of themselves.
Nonetheless, I followed her back, ’cause she’s an acquaintance from the same high school as me. I wonder if that was the only reason for me to do so — c’mon, it was Instagram! Who doesn’t wish to have good-looking people appear on their feed?
I always had an eye for her though, I know not why. Maybe because she posted about herself in a way bolder manner than anyone could dare to. I thought it was this boldness of her that kept my attention tied to her in some manner, or maybe, I didn’t even spare a thought about it at all! It was all flowing seamlessly like with any other of my friends on social media, until when suddenly on a day I realized that she had gone off for a while. Ofcourse, we hadn’t been in touch ever, so I wouldn’t have known why. We had a mutual who was a good friend to both of us, but I didn’t care much to find out what had happened. Life goes on.
A couple of weeks later, I saw her post a video of she hanging out with one her apparently new friends whom I never had seen before on her social media. It would seem like a casual video to most, but like I said, I had my attention tied to her for some reason. It felt as if she was trying her best to enjoy the company of whoever she had around herself, trying her best to make the most of what she had.
Wait, what about all the boldness I was seeking in her? I digged deeper to realize that the one she had given away her body and soul to had left her only with the words, “I got bored of you.”
Again, the millennial phenomena of hook-ups and break-ups that seem completely fine to us. Ever realized that there are people of various kinds around us, and that, not all can handle the shit world serves them with the same way? Yes, she had lost herself. And probably she herself knew that too, seeking ecstasy in mere jokes by her friends. She kept posting time and again about her developing bond with her new friend, about a dog she had recently began petting, about the death of the dog and a lot more! Sounds regular, right? Now does she seem special enough to be explored? I guess not.
Or maybe she had always been regular, only trying to cope with the expectations her special one had of her. I got a chance to know her better as we began sharing a few chats online. It wasn’t too long before I realized that I could think of her as an ocean — something that we feel is there, wide open, nothing to know about, nothing to discover; but something that has an entire world of discoveries within self. I began swimming through to these discoveries to correct my facts from earlier.
She doesn’t fuck around with guys, she devotes herself as a whole when she’s in love. She does not drink because it looks cool or anything of the sort, she does it to make the most of any positivity she would have around her (and oh, yeah, I got to know that she drinks with her Dad these days! Now that’s boldness returning in some way). She does not dress in the manner she does to create an excitement about herself, but does it ’cause nobody can do it the way she does.
Hold on, why am I sharing this irrelevant bullshit with you guys? Ah, got it! Maybe because now that I have some regular conversations with her, it makes me utterly guilty to think of the kind of judgments I made about her without caring to know anything of what lies beneath the covers. Or maybe because I wish to send out a message and save you guys from having a similar guilt too.